So far I have never explicitly brought up my relationship as a topic to be coached on. I can’t remember us spending much time talking about my relationship, yet the change this year has been significant. In fact it has been beyond remarkable.
This does not mean it has been easy but I have kept coming back to the question WHO AM I BEING in relation to my marriage? I listened to the podcast that Eric Lofholm did with Ross Weitzer where he spoke about being an exceptional husband. That really hit home for me. If an independent 3rd party looked at my texts, messages to my wife, would they see it as exceptional? If someone watched all my behaviours towards my wife, would they deem me an exceptional husband?
This was sobering but also a huge opportunity. I saw that it was within my gift to shift my marriage to another level. I want to acknowledge Amy Hardison for writing the book of being, The Ultimate Coach and specifically for being so open about her marriage to Steve. It was so refreshing to read that they hadn’t had it easy, that they had created their marriage even when they were opposites in many ways.
Over the past year, and especially the last six months, I have been shifting my way of being. I have asked myself who can I BE right now to be an amazing husband in the middle of a disagreement. I have asked myself how can I BE an amazing partner when my wife is stressed. I have asked myself how can I BE an amazing lover when my wife wants some space.
An important thing to add, is this has been built on the bedrock of SELF-FORGIVENESS. In the past, I would have tried to shift from a place of judging myself for not being better, for not being exceptional, for not being enough. Not anymore. I have returned to self-forgiveness again and again whenever a judgemental thought arose and then I have been free to create a new way of BEING.
I am under no illusions that it won’t be all plain sailing 100% of the time, but I really feel that this shift in BEING has transformed my marriage for the better 1000%. Thank you Steve Hardison for everything. Like I keep saying, “The Ultimate Coach” doesn’t do justice to who you are and what you do. I had no idea what I would get but it’s been worth it’s weight in gold. You are everything in your document and more and I cannot acknowledge you highly enough.
I may or may not speak about this in India at The Ultimate Experience India Edition but I appreciate everyone who is coming over to be part of that magical experience.
With love and appreciation,
Coach and Author of Sweet Sharing – Rediscovering the REAL You