The Big Lesson From My Be With

About 3 weeks ago I had the opportunity to have my Be With Session with Steve Hardison, The Ultimate Coach, and the lesson he imparted to me around the topic of acknowledgements was so powerfully made that it will never leave me.

Before we stepped into Steve’s office, as Steve was showing me the masterpiece wall painted by the wonderful Nadine Larder, he told me that he wanted to acknowledge me for the relationships I had created on Facebook. He told me that some clients like to remain anonymous, but of those who are open about being coached by him, he’s never seen the kind of response I received on Facebook. I smiled and listened and said thank you but in my head, I didn’t really fully take it in. I didn’t accept the acknowledgement fully and there was a feeling of “he’s just saying that”.

Later when we stepped into Steve’s office when he asked me what we wanted to work on, I mentioned that acknowledgement he had given me and how I didn’t fully accept it, hear it and take it in. I told him that many times Steve Chandler would acknowledge me for my coaching skills or my enrollment abilities but my professional self-esteem always seemed to be playing catch up to reality. Like it would take me a year to SEE what Steve Chandler meant when he acknowledged me.

I once even asked Steve Chandler if he meant what he said about a compliment he had given me. (My wife would always say, of course, he’s saying these great things about you. You’re paying him!) I wasn’t seeing what my coach was seeing.

Steve Hardison said some things which I don’t fully recall but something along the lines of being rude or disrespectful by not accepting acknowledgements and then he jumped up and said I’m going to make sure you never forget this. He came back a few moments later with a box of chocolates that I had gifted him (which he told me he absolutely loved).

Steve gave them to me and we played some role play. He asked me to give them to him again but they would be a physical metaphor for an acknowledgement. In this role play, he would play me and I would play him. He went over this a few times so that I really understood what he was getting at.

I offered him the chocolates along with an acknowledgement and he slaps them out of my hand. HARD. He whacked my hand in the process and it hurt. I felt a whole range of emotions come up. I was pissed off, upset, annoyed, surprised. Steve asked me how I felt and I told him. Steve said this is what I was doing with people’s acknowledgements every time I didn’t really accept them. I was whacking them out of their hands. He asked me how I would have felt if he had reacted like that when I initially gave him the box of chocolates when I arrived. The point landed.

We did the role-play a second time to make sure I REALLY got it. Steve Hardison is a master at making his point so clearly that I’ll never forget. There was also another small point. He pointed out that he had taped the box together so that in making the point, he didn’t damage the box. How thoughtful and it was noticed!

He asked me in the future to always respond with Thank You whenever being given an acknowledgement and then to progress it to something like, Thank You, I’ve been working on that. I appreciate you noticing.

Steve then did one more role play. He asked me to acknowledge him for something and he would show me how he accepts it. I acknowledged him for his attention to detail from the India flag to my name on his wall. Again, I don’t remember the words he used but the way he accepted my acknowledgement had me cry. I couldn’t help it. Tears rolled down my face.

I was being an asshole by not accepting other people’s acknowledgements. I also had an insight that I am God’s creation and by not accepting the acknowledgement I am disrespecting God because why wouldn’t God create something magnificent. This was when he gave me the self-acknowledgement exercises that I posted about the other day.

Since the session, I’ve really been putting this into practice and opening myself up to genuine acknowledgements and accepting them graciously like Steve initially accepted my gifts to him. My professional self-esteem and personal self-esteem have both jumped up massively. Ironically they had never been higher just before seeing Steve Hardison and I had been reflecting on just how much I had shifted and yet Steve saw through my thoughts and realised there was a quantum leap to be made.

I know it won’t be the same as sitting in his office, but please close your eyes and imagine yourself sitting there instead of me. Imagine the same scenario play out with you not me. Read this whole post about YOU and see if you can be more open and accepting of acknowledgements so you see more clearly just how beautiful, gorgeous, good, kind, amazing, clever, wise and powerful you are.

Huge love to you all and if you have not read the story of my exercise on the plane home and beyond, read it here: https://www.ankushjain.co.uk/the-exercise-which-shifted-my-being/

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