A few years back, I was having a coaching conversation with Steve Chandler and I brought up some judgemental thinking about another coach. Except, I couldn’t see it was simply my thinking. It seemed as if my righteous, upset feelings were telling me something else. It felt as if I was coming from a place of taking a stand for the profession, for ethical behaviour and for good business values.
As usual, Steve used probing questions to uncover more. We found that my judgemental thinking didn’t apply to just this one coach, but my judgement was far more widespread. Again, it didn’t occur to me that I was being a bad person but looked like I was coming from a good place and setting high standards of integrity and ethical behaviour whilst judging.
I noticed that Steve didn’t judge other coaches. He either spoke highly of others or said nothing. He was a role model for this profession through his behaviours and always seemed very positive. He told me that his view was anyone engaging in overselling and under-delivering or, worse, unethical behaviour would not last long in this profession. Anyone earning money in this industry must deliver value, and the more value they bring, the more income they make. I later found out that the greatest value to bring to someone is to love them.
I won’t say this change occurred overnight for me. I had more conversations with Steve, Keith Blevens and also Mark Howard, which helped. However, working with Steve Hardison last year helped me shift this because underneath all this judgement of other coaches was a lot of self-judgement. I was my own harshest critic.
This is why in my AJC Coaching Career School, I have made it a central tenet that we don’t judge each other, we don’t live in competition and we celebrate and support one another. That way, we all win. I truly believe a rising tide lifts all boats. I also feel compassion for any coach who falls into the judgement trap. To paraphrase Sydney Banks, they are carrying a very heavy burden.
I thank every coach who is helping to raise this profession. I truly believe we are all in it together and my hope and wish is to be of service to you all so we all win.
With love and appreciation,
Coach and Author of Sweet Sharing – Rediscovering the REAL You
P.S Have you seen the interview I did with Steve Chandler for my school on becoming a professional coach?