Sometimes my clients assume that I never have a bad day, they’d imagine that somehow I’m living a life of pure bliss and happiness and no low moods.
I always try and assure them this is not the case. Sure, my experience of life is a thousand times better than it used to be a decade ago, however, I am still human.
I’ve appreciated this about my own coaches and mentors as well when they let me know they’re human too. In fact, one of the things that was getting in the way of me having a better experience of life was the thought that there was something wrong with having a bad day or a bad mood. Because I believed in that I would then try and do something about it. I’d try to distract myself or read or listen to something that was going to provide me with a solution to my low feelings. I’d even reach out to a friend.
However, what I found is the more desperately I searched for an answer to my unhappy feelings or unhappy moods the more I’d end up stuck in them.
A real game changer for me was when I saw that as a human being I’m going to experience the entire gamut of emotions, from good to bad and everything in between. Whatever I’m feeling is simply whatever is rising in the moment and there’s nothing I need to do to manage those feelings. In fact, the mind has a self-correcting mechanism – there is no feeling that I have that will stay with me forever. That is true for both good feelings and bad feelings.
My experience of life is from moment to moment. The more clearly I see this the more present I am and I can enjoy the highs and be more graceful in the lows.
In 2019, my mentor Dr Keith Blevens, spoke at my Men’s Immersion about the moments when we do not see life clearly and how we can deal with them and learn from them. We got a snippet of that conversation for you:
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