I love a good “Steve-ism”. A term I coined about the excellent one-liners that I’ve heard or read from Steve Chandler over the years. One of them is “No one wants to hire an unsuccessful, success coach”.
It really hits home for me on an important point. We have to be what we are teaching others. If I am pointing my clients to having a more loving marriage, and yet I am being petty and acting like a victim with my wife, I will never have the impact on clients that I could do. Sure, someone can hear something no matter where I am coming from. That happened with Sydney Banks when he had his insight. However, I’ve found that the deeper I see the truth of whatever I am pointing to, the more clearly my clients can see it.
So to riff off the Steve-ism above, I’d postulate that no one wants to hire a stressed-out 3P coach, mentor or teacher.
They don’t exist, do they?
I had a fit in 2017, a few months after my wedding. An uncontrolled physical shaking for 30 seconds or so. It was late at night, my wife and I disagreed, and I took things very personally. I bottled my emotions inside, and they manifested physically.
I checked Google, as you do, and scrolled past the various things it could be. The most common cause was stress. Surely that couldn’t be it. I’m a 3P coach. I’ve worked with some of the best in the world. I help my clients to have less on their minds. I went to see a neurologist, and she confirmed, after running an MRI and brain scan, that there were no physical reasons why I would have had the fit. It was mental.
In between the two appointments, I had found the answer. Steve Chandler encouraged me to read a book that brought me peace. I picked up a copy of Second Chance and took it with me on my flight to Las Vegas where I was due to be speaking. I was reading on the plane when I came across the words, you’re not a failure, you just think you are.
It hit me. I had been thinking I was a failure every time my wife and I had any disagreement. No matter how small. Tears ran down my face, and I started laughing. I’m sure I looked pretty strange. Touchwood, I have never had a fit again. I’m not saying I didn’t take things personally occasionally, but something shifted for me in that moment.
This is why, even though in my AJC Coaching Career School I focus on client creation, enrollment and generating income for your coaching practice in an ethical way, it’s essential for me that coaches don’t forget that their own grounding in what they teach is doing a lot of the heavy lifting. It’s why I encouraged so many in the last school to hire Dr. Rani Bora, Jacquie Moses, Mark Howard and Dr. Keith Blevens or anyone else who helps them walk their talk alongside what I teach around client creation.
I’m also very grateful to Steve for constantly encouraging me to not forget my 3 Principles roots and going ever deeper in this beautiful spiritual teaching.
With love and appreciation,
Coach and Author of Sweet Sharing – Rediscovering the REAL You